FOOTY FAIR

Three Managers That Jose Mourinho is About to Renew Hostilities With

2016-05-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

With Sky Sports reporting on Thursday that Jose Mourinho had signed a contract to become the next manager of Manchester United, Reds and fans of their rivals alike were lighting up social media with differing views on the man himself.

Love him or hate him, Mourinho has certainly collected his share of trophies over his career and he has the type of personality that won't be overwhelmed by the size of the job he's taking on at Old Trafford.

While rebuilding United, Mourinho will also renew hostilities with a few of his old sparring partners, including the following:

Arsene Wenger

When Mourinho first came into English football with Chelsea in 2004, Arsenal were the reigning champions and the self-styled 'Special One' didn't waste much time in getting under the skin of their manager Arsene Wenger. With the Frenchman constantly complaining about Mourinho's conduct incessently in the press, Mourinho famously said: "I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea. He should be worried about [Arsenal]. He's worried about us, he's always talking about us. It's Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea."

On his return to Chelsea in 2013-2014 he labelled Wenger "a specialist in failure" after gleefully making note of Arsenal going eight years without a trophy. The lead up to first meeting between the Gunners and United in the coming season should be interesting.

Pep Guardiola

After masterminding Inter's unlikely victory over Pep Guardiola's all conquering Barcelona side in the 2010 Champions League Semi-Final, Mourinho made the move to the Catalan club's greatest rivals, Real Madrid, to face off against the former Spanish international on a more regular basis.

During Mourinho's three seasons in Madrid, the rivalry between the two sides was arguably cranked up another notch as Mourinho tried, largely, in vain to get under the skin of the Barca boss.

Despite Barcelona being largely in the ascendance, Mourinho's Madrid did manage to win the 2011-2012 La Liga title, the only league crown Madrid has captured in the past eight years.

Guardiola left Barcelona following that season, and yet despite the two men no longer facing off against one another Mourinho couldn't help but take another dig at him in September 2014 when he cracked:

"When you enjoy what you do, you don't lose your hair, and Guardiola is bald. He doesn't enjoy football."

The two will resume their rivalry in Manchester next season, with Guardiola heading over to City.

Claudio Ranieri

Even kindly current Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri fell afoul of Mourinho, with the two having run-ins during the Portuguese bosses time at Inter.

Ranieri dared to suggest that Mourinho was showing Italian football a lack of respect by not showing up for news conferences early on in his time in Milan. Not being the type of person who enjoys being talked about in other than glowing terms, the new United boss retorted:

"I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans. Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say 'Good morning' and 'Good afternoon.' Who is he to tell me what to do?"

As the manager of the current English champions, I think it's safe to assume that Ranieri will be hearing more from Jose in the coming season.

4 Strange Stories of the Week That Was

2015-11-28T17:29:00.000-05:00

Another fine week in the world of football, that featured the chills and thrills of the Champions League, also witnessed a few things of the stranger variety.

Besides the on-pitch action here are a few other stories that occurred in the football world this week:

Don't be a Dick

According to Marca a player has been suspended for 12 months for attempting to slap a female assistant referee with his wedding tackle. The dick swinging incident occurred during the final stages of the Andalusian Senior Second Division match between CD Abes and Gabia CF in mid-November. The unnamed player, who was on the bench, stormed pitch side in the 80th minute with his penis hanging out of his shorts and tried to slap the official with it. She apparently dodged his meat and two veg, and yesterday the authorities handed him a stiff ban.

Crooked Watches

On Wednesday FIFA’s Ethics Committee announced that the FIFA representatives who were given £16,000 Parmigiani watches as a sweetener before the 2014 World Cup by Brazilian officials had to return them. The days of dodgy dealings could be over at FIFA. right? Well, probably not.

Plane Stupid

Arsenal drew the ire of a group of environmental campaigners today when they opted to take a 14-minute flight from London Luton airport to Norwich ahead of Sunday's match at Carrow Road, as opposed to taking a two hour coach or train ride. A representative from Plane Stupid (no, really) criticized the decision of the Gunners taking to the air as a needless short haul flight that just contributes to climate change. Back in the George Graham days Arsenal were only really dirty on the pitch or in the pub, now under Arsene Wenger it's only really their mode of travel that's dirty. How times change, eh folks?

Justin Bieber? Nobody Fucking Needs Ya!

When Southend midfielder Ryan Leonard hit a rich vein of form recently, scoring three goals in four outings he credited it to listening to Justin Bieber's latest song. The Pop Scrotum himself then retweeted Leonard's comment about his song helping him find the net to his millions of followers and suddenly kids around the world who couldn't find either Southend or possibly England on a map knew all about Leonard. Pop music... You just can't avoid it. Now only if Rooney can start scoring and get a retweet from Taylor Swift.

5 Strange Things That Football Managers Banned

2015-11-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

With Jose Mourinho seemingly hanging onto his job by a thread at Chelsea following another defeat this weekend and Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal's "philosophy" starting to wear thin on many of the club's supporters both are in need of a change of fortunes.

Besides squad rotation, another thing managers have done over the years is to try and reassert their authority on a club in times of crisis.

One method is to start banning the squad from doing or certain things. Here is a list of five odd things managers have banned over the years:

1. David Moyes - Chips

One of the many complaints Rio Ferdinand, and several of the Manchester United squad, had about the ultimately doomed successor to Sir Alex Ferguson, was that David Moyes banned their tradition of eating low fat chips the night before a match.

2. Paul Le Guen - Monster Munch

Speaking of potatoes, the hugely unpopular former Rangers boss Paul Le Guen caused a bust up in the Ibrox dressing room when he banned his captain Barry Ferguson from eating Monster Munch crisps.

3. Arsene Wenger - Mars Bars

Upon taking over at Arsenal in 1996, one of the first thing Arsene Wenger did was crack down on the notorious drinking culture at the club and overhaul the shabby diet most of the squad enjoyed. One of the big things off the menu was a pre-match Mars bar.

4. Raymond Domenech - Scorpios

Bizarre former French national team boss Raymond Domenech had a thing for astrology and after a run of unfavourable results he decided that the problem was with Scorpios and thus declined to pick anyone with that birth sign.

5. Paulo Di Canio - You Name It

Paulo Di Canio stamped down his unique brand of authority on Sunderland by banning the following:

tomato ketchup
mobile phones
coffee
mayonnaise
carbonated soft drinks
ice
joking
gossiping
singing in the showers

Mourinho + Wenger Love Relationship - The Best Video You'll Watch Today

2015-09-16T18:36:00.001-04:00

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho and Arsenal bench-boss Arsene Wenger have had their differences on the sidelines, but the new video edited by the people at Sun Dream Team brings a new perspective to the heated relationship in this hilarious edited video of the two managers "talking about their explicit relationship".

5 Times That Jose Mourinho Has Acted Like a Jackass

2015-08-15T12:00:00.000-04:00

Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho has hit the headlines for all of the wrong reasons again this week after his classless treatment of club doctor Eva Carneiro after she rushed on the pitch, with physiotherapist Jon Fearn to tend to an injuries Eden Hazard in the closing stages of the Blues draw with Swansea.

Carneiro had seemingly been summoned onto the pitch by the referee Michael Oliver, was blasted by Mourinho for reducing his side to nine men and has been told she will no longer have a place on the bench for future Chelsea matches.

It seemed, for the outside looking in, to be a bout of childish anger by the Special One. With Mourinho, you are almost certainly guaranteed results but another thing you can count on with the Portuguese boss is a few bust ups along the way.

The following are a few examples of when he's acted liked an utter jackass:

The Anders Frisk Incident

During an explosive first leg encounter at Camp Nou between Chelsea and Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League round of 16 in 2005, referee Anders Frisk sent off striker Didier Drogba after two book able offences. The home side dispatched Chelsea 2-1 and afterwards Jose Mourinho claimed that referee Anders Frisk had met with then Barcelona boss Frank Rijkaard at halftime to decide the outcome. It was a baseless accusation, but Frisk received a number of death threats from irate Blues fans and decided to end his career in officiating as a result. Mourinho was later branded an "enemy of football" by UEFA referee chief Volker Roth.

Gouging Tito's Eyes

During the 2011 Spanish Super Cup with Barcelona a bust up on the sidelines culminated in Mourinho gouging Barca assistant Tito Vilanova's eyes. He later claimed to not know who Vilanova even was.

Arsene Wenger vs The Special One

Besides his long running feud with Barcelona, Mourinho's career has been marked with his many run ins with Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger. Besides a pushing match earlier this year and then snubbing each other after the season opening Community Shield, Mourinho has called Wenger "a voyeur who likes to watch other people", he's also labelled him "an expert in failure", and he was famously fined for an illegal approach to Arsenal's then left back Ashley Cole back in 2006.

Jose Still Hates Pep

While Mourinho was in charge of Real Madrid the rivalry between his side and Barcelona was perhaps nastier than any other time in recent history. Much of that was fuelled by Mourinho casting an envious eye at Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola's all conquering side. Unlike his battles with Wenger though, the Portuguese manager was never able to really get under Pep's skin. Despite them not having managed against each other in several seasons, with Pep eventually moving on to Bayern Munich, Mourinho couldn't help but be a dick when he said:

"When you enjoy what you do, you don't lose your hair, and Guardiola is bald," Mourinho said in September 2014. "He doesn't enjoy football."

Mourinho Giving Rafa Benitez's Wife Some Advice

"Real Madrid are the third of Jose Mourinho's old teams Rafa has coached," Montserrat Seara Benitez reportedly said in an interview earlier this summer, before adding: "We tidy up his messes."

In fairness she was probably out of line with that comment in the first place, but the Chelsea boss could have been professional and brushed this off, but this is Mourinho after all.

He blasted in response: "The only club where her husband replaced me was at Inter Milan, where in six months he destroyed the best team in Europe at the time," Mourinho said. "For her also to think about me and to speak about me, I think she needs to occupy her time, and if she takes care of her husband's diet she will have less time to speak about me."

5 Jose Mourinho Quotes About His Old Enemy Arsene Wenger

2015-08-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

This past weekend's Community Shield saw yet another chapter in the long running feud between Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho and his Arsenal counterpart Arsene Wenger.

Following Arsenal's 1-0 victory over Chelsea in the traditional English season opener at Wembley Stadium, the two managers made absolutely no effort to shake hands with each other after the match, as they both stormed off without a glance at their respective enemy.

The approach both managers have to their jobs is in stark contrast. While Wenger tries to set his sides out to play football a certain way, and can be very pleasing on the eye when everything is working out as he planned, Mourinho is all about results no matter how they're achieved and his sides can even adopted the 'darker arts' if necessary.

It also doesn't help that Mourinho is motivated by feuds with rival managers and has started numerous fights over the years with the likes of Pep Guardiola, Tito Vilanova, and Rafa Benitez to go along with his long running beef with Wenger.

The following are five incendiary quotes that Mourinho has fired in Wenger's direction:

On Wenger's criticism of Chelsea's tactics:

“Wenger has a real problem with us and I think he is what you call in England a voyeur. He is someone who likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. Wenger must be one of them – it is a sickness. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.”

Even while he was in Italy at Inter, Mourinho couldn't resist in taking this shot at Wenger in 2008:

“The English like statistics a lot. Do they know that Arsene Wenger has only 50 per cent of wins in the English league?”

Mourinho wasn't happy when Wenger said his rival was playing down Chelsea's title chances in 2014 over "a fear of failure";

“Am I afraid of failure? He is a specialist in failure. I’m not. So if one supposes he’s right and I’m afraid of failure, it’s because I don’t fail many times. So maybe he’s right. I’m not used to failing. But the reality is he’s a specialist because, eight years without a piece of silverware, that’s failure.”

On continuing criticism from the Arsenal boss over Chelsea's playing style:

"You know, boring I think is 10 years without a title. That's very boring. You support the club and you're waiting, waiting, waiting for so many years without a Premier League title, so that's very boring. But maybe they aren't singing to us."

On Wenger's supposed lack of spending:

"If you add up the amounts clubs have spent in the last three or four years I think maybe you will find a surprise. If you put Ozil plus Alexis Sanchez, plus Chambers, plus Debuchy, you will find a surprise. Get a calculator. That is the easiest thing, it leaves no space for speculation. If you want to be honest, objective and pragmatic it is the easiest job for a manager to do."

Any Given Sunday: Three Wise Men

2015-04-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

Many men claim to be at the top of the food chain when it comes to the Premier League, but currently there are three managers that have an undeniable wisdom when it comes to the league and what it takes to be successful.

These are the three wise men of British football.

Jose Mourinho

You can’t make any list about almost any topic and not include the Special One. What he has accomplished in the Premier League and with Chelsea will stand the tests of time, and without a doubt he will go down as one of the greatest managers of all time.

The only title he hasn’t won with Chelsea is the Champions League, and I believe that he will not find rest or be able to move on until he is able to bring that trophy to Stamford Bridge.

Chelsea won it with Di Matteo, but Mourinho knows that more than the trophy is the legacy. Winning the domestic title and cups are important, but winning that title could be the crowning achievement of his illustrious time in charge of Chelsea.

Arsene Wenger

The Frenchman has been at Arsenal since 1996 and it is hard to picture Arsenal without Wenger. He has become such a huge part of the club. Considering the lack of success of the last ten years it is impressive that he has been able to remain in charge of the London club. Many others have come and gone with far better records, but Wenger remains the man leading the Gunners.

His knowledge of the Premier League is substantial, and his ability to use analytics is well documented. He was one of the first to bring analytics and metrics to how he put a team together and how he decided to spend money in the transfer market.

It isn’t a surprise that since Chelsea and Manchester City grew into prominence his Arsenal has never been able to win the domestic title. I don’t think Wenger has lost his step, but the rules of engagement changed and he wasn’t able to adapt to them.

His approached is more sustainable for club and owners but not sure if this Premier League dinosaur will survive possible extinction.

Sir Alex Ferguson

Nearly two years since he decided to retire and leave Manchester United. In that span United hired two new managers in Moyes and van Gaal. Two years without a title, one of them without Champions League football, and what we have is a very different United from the one Sir Alex Ferguson had us used to.

I don’t think the demise or at least downfall of United can’t be completely related to the departure of Ferguson. I think his presence and knowledge of the game and league helped United even in season’s where the team was not as strong.

On paper, United currently have one of the strongest teams but they still have failed to produce. All this does is give more credits and glory to the greatest United manager in history, Sir Alex Ferguson.

Any Given Sunday: EPL Managers vs GOT

2015-03-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Who doesn’t follow Premier League football? Probably, the same amount of people as the ones not watching Game of Thrones.

Being a huge fan of both it is hard not to look at some managers and associate them with characters in Game of Thrones, either due to physical attributes or personality traits.

I have picked five Premier League managers and have decided to give them a Game of Thrones character, and explain why in my mind they are the equivalent of that character in English football.

Jose Mourinho = Petyr Baelish (Little Finger)

If Mourinho had a devious moustache you could almost say that they had been separated at birth.

Mourinho is the “Little Finger” of English football. Always playing mind games, working behind the scenes and not letting anyone know the cards he holds before the time comes when he has to play them.

Sure he doesn’t own brothels in London, but he does own the media and always seem to be plotting something and using the ones around him for his own gain.

Arsene Wenger = Eddard Stark

A man of convictions that will not waiver in his views even if that means dying by the sword.

Arsene Wenger is the Ned Stark of the Premier League, having said that he has been able to keep his head above his shoulders for all these years even if no major trophies have been won. I guess Arsenal is more forgiving than Joffrey.

Manuel Pellegrini = Tywin Lannister

The Manchester City boss comes across as a very cold and calculative person, and I guess you have to be when you are managing so many egos.

His stature, persona, and demeanor make him the Tywin Lannister of English football.

I don’t believe he will be involved in the overtaking of any throne or sending the league into a war of words any time soon, but his calm and collective appearance, mixed in with his cold persona make him a very dangerous person to deal with.

Much like Tywin Lannister, you never know what card he has hiding under his sleeve and when he will play it.

Brendan Rogers = Tyrion Lannister

He may look like a fool but he is not an idiot. Much like Tyrion, don’t let his appearance fool you.

Brendan Rogers is a very intelligent and astute man, what he has done with Liverpool can only be compared to what Tyrion did in the “Battle of the Blackwater”.

If there is one less you can take from Brendan Rogers and Tyrion Lannister is never to judge a book by its cover.

Louis van Gaal = Joffrey Baratheon

Both have the face of someone you would just love to slap. Both come across as arrogant, pompous and spoiled. Both took over a group a man, but failed to truly lead them. Both will end up sharing also the fact that they weren’t in charge for too long.

When I look at all Premier League managers, nobody is a better villain, and someone you love to hate more than Louis van Gaal.

Joffrey lasted four seasons in power, I don’t think van Gaal will “live” that long in Manchester.

10 Quotes About Thierry Henry

2014-12-16T16:00:00.000-05:00

The word 'legend' is thrown around far too easily these days. A player can go on a good scoring run for a few months and suddenly he's branded a legend, but in reality it should take more than that to achieve legendary status.

French striker Thierry Henry however is a legend. Today he officially announced the end of his illustrious playing career and although there are still some strong feelings against him in Ireland, thanks to a notorious handball in a 2010 World Cup Qualifier, most will remember him in his pomp for Arsenal in particular.

For nearly a decade, Henry was one of the finest players in the world. With blistering pace, power and precision, at his peak he was a joy to watch as he cut defenses to ribbons.

The following are ten great quotes from his teammates, opponents, coaches and contemporaries in the football world:

"The English have made a statue of him, but in France, he has not always been recognized at his full worth. With his extraordinary list of honors and his record of international goals, Thierry Henry will nonetheless remain a legend. He was an exceptional striker. Simply the best!" — Frederic Thiriez, president of the French league.

"The first day that he came into the dressing room, I did not dare to look him in the face. I knew everything that he had done in England." — Lionel Messi

"I've seen most things in this league in the last 25 years. I haven't seen anything like him. I said at the beginning of the game that he was special, he's more then that, he's irreplaceable." — Andy Gray

"And then there is the magnificent Thierry Henry - someone who has blistering pace and is unbelievable when he is finishing at his best." — Andy Gray

"Henry is a beautiful player and has got complete technique, I adore watching him. I respect him very much as a man and as a footballer. He reminds me of myself." — Ronaldinho

"When it's his day, Thierry can score a hat-trick with ease. He's amazing." — Robert Pires

"The word 'great' is overused but in Thierry's case it is absolutely true." — Bob Wilson

"What makes him special? He has a mixture of physical talent and technical ability, as well as remarkable intelligence and above all a great passion for the game." — Arsene Wenger

"People say he doesn't score a lot of goals with his head, but does he really have to with the ability he has in his feet? He makes spectacular goals look easy. His technique is fantastic." — Alan Shearer

“If you look at the whole package, with everything Henry has, I don't think you can find that anywhere else. You give him the ball in the right place and his acceleration will take him past any defender in the world.” — Dennis Bergkamp

FFN: Arsene Wenger Signs a Ten Year Extension at Arsenal

2014-12-12T16:00:00.001-05:00

Despite Arsenal’s disappointing start to the Premier League season, and the looming prospect of eleven years passing since their last league title, the Arsenal board has decided to award manager Arsene Wenger a new ten year extension to his current deal.

With angry Arsenal fans shouting abuse at Wenger on a train station in Stoke this past week, to go along with growing dissent among the supporter base of his management, and the Gunners slipping to sixth in the table, questions were being raised if the Frenchman’s time in North London was coming to a close.

The club hierarchy has subsequently squashed those rumours by not only extending his deal, but by assuring him that significant transfer funds will be made available in the next two transfer windows.

According to sources Wenger had the following to say about his extension:

“I’m happy to be staying with Arsenal and to continue the fantastic work we have been doing over the past five years.

I plan to look at addressing our problems in midfield during the January period, if the players we have targeted become available, as we feel we need more creativity and spark in that area. At the moment we only have Jack Wilshere, Mikel Arteta, Mesut Özil, Theo Walcott, Santi Cazorla and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain as recognized attacking midfielders, so I feel we could use another two small creative midfielders.

I’m more than happy with our defense and attack at the moment, so we likely will not spend in those areas. Those who have argued that we have frailties in those positions simply do not understand our philosophy.

Our goal as ever is to finish the season in fourth place and put up a good showing in the last sixteen of the Champions League. Those are the targets we have set for ourselves and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

Football is no longer a game of pursuing frivolous things like trophies; it’s about playing attractive football with dainty players and finishing in fourth place that sides should aspire to now.

Although part of me despises the gluttonous capitalism of the game today, I understand the reality that a club like ours requires Champions League football every season to satisfy our financial forecasts. I believe our fans recognize this as well and will be more than happy with simply getting into the Champions League again.

So, once again I’m happy to be staying at Arsenal for the next decade and look forward to more of the same.”

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Thank you for reading FootyFair's Friday Fake News. Please note that none of the above is true.

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5 Classic Arsene Wenger Excuses

2014-11-25T16:00:00.000-05:00

As a lacklustre Manchester United side defeated a mentally fragile Arsenal side at The Emirates on Saturday it felt like a case of par for the course for the North London side as they slumped to their worst league start since 1982/1983.

Under Arsene Wenger, for his first eight seasons at least, Arsenal used to be a side that combined physical strength with slick movement and pace. Now the club seems to be overpopulated by 5 ft 7 in midfielders who are technically proficient, but wilt when under pressure, and an endless parade of clueless defenders that offer nothing more than comedy value for opposing fans.

As more Gunners lose faith in the notoriously stubborn Wenger, the club looks further away from winning the title than any other time in the past ten years.

One grating point for many supporters is the ludicrous excuses the Frenchman offers up after a setback for his side.

Even after Saturday's loss to United he offered up that Arsenal had dominated possession, having the ball "80 percent of the time" but were just not "efficient enough in the final third and made mistakes at the back".

Here are five of his worst excuses:

Bad Pitches

“We drew at Wigan on Sunday and I was asked about the state of the pitch after the game. Of course I would have preferred a better pitch because, frankly, it was a disaster. The excuse is that Wigan have a rugby team who play on the pitch but having a surface like that is disrespectful for the fans who come and pay money to see the game.”

The New Stadium

“I personally put our bad start to the season down to the new stadium. We dropped some points that any team will drop when they move to a new stadium. It is linked with the unfamiliarity, as well as the fact that a team that comes to the stadium has no bad memories.”

His Young Side

“They will be better in two or three more years because they will be even more experienced – and they will still be very young then.”

Champions League Qualifiers

“When you have to play Champions League qualifiers so early, you push players and they get injuries, which is what has happened.”

Chelsea's Financial Doping

"At the end of the day, they have a financial power and they used it in a very efficient way when they had the chances -- the individual players they had made the difference, Eden Hazard and Diego Costa."

FFN - Jose Mourinho Releases a Book of Life Advice

2014-11-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

Jose Mourinho is one of the most successful, and outspoken, football managers of the past decade.

With multiple titles in Portugal, England and Spain, to go along with success in the UEFA Champions League, Mourinho is rightly lauded for his accomplishments.

Hoping to transfer his success from football management over to the literary world, Mourinho has taken an unusual first step though.

Rather than a typical ghost written autobiography that goes into painstaking detail about his working relationship with Deco, the Chelsea boss will be releasing a book on his philosophy on life. The book is not football-centric, but rather contains lessons for anyone looking to be more successful and assertive in their careers or life in general.

Here are a few excerpts from his new book "Be Champions":

Be the Special One

One of the secrets to my success is to always exude confidence. Walk into a meeting at work and own the room. Immediately tell everyone that you're special, your opinion is the only valid one and that they simply have to follow your lead. You can try this at home as well, but the success of this approach will be entirely dependent upon the character of your spouse, of course.

Develop a Siege Mentality

Everyone might not be against you, but it's better if you and more importantly your colleagues believe that people are lining up to knock you down. It's not paranoia, it's good psychology that will keep you on edge and ready for anything an opponent, be it a former girlfriend, work rival, or parking enforcement officer has to throw at you.

Middle Management Can't Be Trusted

There can be no layer between you and the person who controls the budget. It's simply unacceptable to have a top heavy management structure that is wrapped up with red tape. If you're a manager at your place of work, your first priority is to undermine your director and any other upper management layers between you and the CEO. It has to be the Owner, CEO, or President and you, with no one in between. When I want a new player or you want a new colour printer, neither of us want to go through channels to get the money we need, do we?

Sometimes Insults Work

It may seem a bit like you're reverting back to school yard with this behaviour, but a well placed insult can seriously undermine a sensitive opponent. Calling someone who has a history of coming up short at work "an expert in failure" is both hurtful and yet effective. Again, this technique can be used in the home but exercise extreme caution, particularly if the person you're insulting typically prepares your food.

Thank you for reading FootyFair's Friday Fake News. Please note that none of the above is true.

To read other editions of Friday Fake News - CLICK HERE

4 Manchester United vs Arsenal Classics

2014-11-20T16:00:00.000-05:00

As Arsenal prepare to take on Manchester United this weekend at The Emirates, the fixture presents a chance for both sides to kickstart their respective assaults on the top four.
The fact that it's only a top four place the sides are chasing though is a reflection of how both clubs have slipped away from the title reckoning in recent seasons.

With United winning their twentieth league title in 2012/2013, little did they know of the season and half of struggle that lay ahead of them following Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement.

As for Arsenal, they have continued to be a good side under Arsene Wenger for the past decade, but they haven't realistically looked like a side capable of winning the league since "The Invincibles" of 2003/2004.

Although this weekends encounter is sure to be exciting it simply can't match some of these sides past meetings for its significance. When Arsenal and United met in the late '90s and early '00s, the title or a cup was usually on the line and there was also a genuine animosity between the two sets of players and their respective managers.

The matches between these sides in that period bubbled with intensity and often generated moments that were season defining.

The following are four Manchester United and Arsenal matches that mattered most:

1997/1998 - 9 November 1997

Arsenal 3 - Manchester United 2
FA Premier League

As champions Manchester United came flying out of the blocks in the 1997/1998 season, Arsenal entered this match at Highbury four points behind and needing a win to stay close to the league leaders. Goals from Nicolas Anelka and Patrick Vieira staked Arsenal to a 2-0 lead before a pair from new signing Teddy Sheringham drew United level. A David Platt goal seven minutes from time though put Arsenal ahead for good.

In Arsene Wenger's first full season at the club, Arsenal would be imperious after Christmas and would win 10 matches in a row en route to winning the league title.

1998/1999 - 14 April 1999

Manchester United 2 - Arsenal 1 AET
FA Cup Semi Final Replay

The 'Ali - Foreman' of English football, this match had absolutely everything and is arguably one of the greatest FA Cup Semi Finals ever played. With Villa Park hosting the two contenders for the league title and that seasons FA Cup, David Beckham gave United an early lead with a dipping shot from distance. Dennis Bergkamp leveled the score in the second half and with Roy Keane's dismissal by David Elleray for a second bookable offence the tie swung in Arsenal's favour. With the Gunners pummeling away at United's goal, Phil Neville tripped Ray Parlour in the box in the 90th minute presenting Bergkamp with a chance to send Arsenal to Wembley. Incredibly, United's Peter Schmeichel

saved the Dutchman's penalty and sent the match into extra time. In the 109th minute, with both sides tiring, United substitute Ryan Giggs picked up an errant pass from Patrick Vieira, drove at the Gunners defence and scored a goal for the ages to settle the match. Manchester United would go on to win a historic Premier League, FA Cup, and UEFA Champions League title while Arsenal would finish the season empty handed.

2003/2004 - 21 September 2003

Arsenal 0 - Manchester United 0
FA Premier League

In a season where Arsenal went on to finish their league campaign without a loss, it's often forgotten that they were only a cross bar away from losing their unbeaten record in September. United, having finished the previous season as champions seemed to have this ill tempered affair in hand when Arsenal captain was sent off in the 80th minute for appearing to kick out at Ruud van Nistelrooy. Ten minutes later, the Dutch striker had a chance to win the match for United with virtually the last kick, before seeing his effort from the penalty spot crash off the bar. Several of Arsenal's players responded to Van Nistelrooy's miss by confronting the United player and screaming abuse in his face. It was a case of handbags at dawn as the two sets of players fronted up to each other over the incident, but eventually two United and six Arsenal players were charged and fined by the FA for 'improper conduct' over the incident. The Gunners cared little though as this was the closet they'd come to losing all season as they romped to the title.

2004/2005 - 24 October 2004

Manchester United 2 - Arsenal 0
FA Premier League

Known forever as "Pizzagate" or "The Battle of the Buffet" this was the match when Arsenal's record breaking unbeaten run of 49 games came to an end. In an often violent, but always engaging affair the two teams traded blows, literally and in a football sense throughout, but the pendulum swung in United's favour when they were awarded a very contentious penalty after Sol Campbell brought down Wayne Rooney in the box in the 72nd minute. Van Nistelrooy cooly exercised any memories from the year before as he put his side ahead from the spot. A reeling Arsenal were then put away by a goal from Rooney in the 90th minute. Following the match tempers boiled over in the tunnel, where pushing and shoving escalated into Cesc Fabregas throwing a slice of pizza at United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, along with other food items being thrown around. The match left Arsenal furious with the performance of referee Mike Riley, as they not only felt aggrieved by the penalty decision but also by some rough tackling by the United players that had gone unpunished.

In the return fixture at Highbury later that season, the bad blood boiled to the surface prior to kickoff with United's Roy Keane and Gary Neville involved in a physical altercation with Arsenal's Vieira. Despite United winning that match 4-2 to complete a double in the league over the Gunners, it would be Roman Abramovich's Chelsea who would win the title that season. It was the first Premier League crown since 1995 to not be won by either Arsenal or Manchester United and signaled the end of an era in the rivalry between these clubs in their battle for league supremacy.

EPL Manager Rap Albums

2014-10-30T20:00:00.000-04:00

When you think of football managers your mind is very unlikely to wonder off and associate these bench-bosses to rappers. So when we found these designs we could not believe our eyes. Take a look at these hilarious manager to rapper mash-up album designs. And whatever you do, don't be lazy to read the song names because that is the funniest part.

Jose Mourinho

David Moyes

Alan Pardew

Manuel Pellegrini

Brendan Rodgers

Louis van Gaal

Arsene Wenger

The Monday Meltdown - Club vs. Country

2014-10-13T18:00:00.000-04:00

As Raheem Sterling was left out of England's starting eleven against Estonia on Sunday, with the manager citing 'tiredness', it left many England fans smelling a rat.

Not to single out this one player in particular, but the fact that he's 19 years old, and didn't play the full match against England's previous opponents in San Marino has understandably led to accusations of his club side, Liverpool, asking for Sterling to be rested.

The player himself has shot back on Twitter that he's only human and several prominent former England internationals have come out in his defence.

However, former Newcastle and England captain Alan Shearer seemed to capture the mood of a lot of fans when he comment afterwards: "Too tired! He is 19 – and it’s October. I genuinely have never heard something like that in my career … This will stick with Sterling for some time, believe me. The working man who is up at 6am and home at 8pm does not want to hear how tired a 19-year-old professional footballer is.”

He continued: “Perhaps all the attention over the last 18 months has simply gone to his head and he feels able to pick and choose his games depending on how good a night’s sleep he has had.”

Not wanting to hang the kid out to dry, because he may have been tired and perhaps England boss Roy Hodgson did him no favours in revealing why he was leaving him out to the press, but it's hard to shake the feeling that this isn't the latest example of a club holding sway over country in England.

When the English Premier League launched in 1992, one of the stated goals on it's mission statement was to help the England national team. That has however seldom been the case, with managers like Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger, in particular, withdrawing players from national side call ups over phantom injuries and pressurizing the England bosses to only play their players for a certain number of minutes.

The lustre of playing for their country seems to have dissipated for many English players as well, and it's often been whispered that many see their trips away with the Three Lions to be a hassle more than anything.

This is in no better evidence in the disdain that clubs and players seem to hold the Under 21's in. While countries like Germany and Spain are sending strong sides to U21 tournaments, English players in that age group are either opting out of going to these tournaments as they have already been prematurely capped at senior level and feel the U21's are below them, or more ridiculously, they are going on a pre-season tour with their respective Premier League clubs.

It's incredibly damaging to the national side that players aren't respecting the honour of being called up to the England team and the younger players aren't experiencing tournament football before stepping up to the senior side.

On a recent episode of the BBC 606 Football Phone In show, former Leeds and England defender Danny Mills summed it up best I think when he said that "club football is your job and playing for your country is an honour."

Unless more current players start believing that themselves and the club's start cooperating with the England manager, the side will sadly never improve.

Weekend Recap - Top 5 Matches (highlights)

2014-10-07T12:00:00.000-04:00

This week on the recap we have highlights from England, Holland, Germany and of course the always entertaining derby from Buenos Aires between River Plate and Boca Juniors.

Manchester United 2 - 1 Everton

Everton has not enjoyed a good start to their EPL campaign, nonetheless it seems that United are slowly putting their pieces together and are starting to gel more or less. Leighton Baines' missed penalty-kick however could have handed the hosts another unfavorable home result, but with Radamel Falcao breaking his duck and scoring the match-winning goal, perhaps Van Gaal's side can turn their fortunes around and save a campaign which started off not in impressive fashion.

Bayer Leverkusen 2 - 2 Paderborn

Pederborn lost the lead twice for the eventual 2-2 draw at Bayer Leverkusen. With the score at 1-1 and a red card to Marvin Bakalorz in the 72nd minute however, it did not seem likely that the visitors could even hold on for the single point. They even took the 2-1 lead with a man down in the 87th, but with seconds left on the play clock the hosts would take away a point from the meeting.

AZ Alkmaar 2 - 2 FC Twente

Great action from Holland as hosts AZ lost an early 1-0 to go behind by a goal thanks to goals from youngster Kyle Ebecilio and Hakim Ziyech. But the hosts would claim a point, scoring a wonderful game-tying goal in the 85th minute.

Chelsea 2 - 0 Arsenal

The return of Cesc Fabregas to face his old team was a story big enough. But when he sent in a perfect long ball to striker Diego Costa for Chelsea's second goal, the Spanish international celebrated in a fashion that can make one believe that he is enjoying his current spell with the Blues very much. Oh yes, there was that shoving match between Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho.

River Plate 1 - 1 Boca Juniors

Derby day in Buenos Aires is always special and it was no different this past Sunday. The crowd was at their best and loudest, and the match was heated and packed with entertainment value that surpasses even the incredible display of football brilliance. 1-1 was the score at final whistle, a score that seems rather ordinary and dull, but the match was nothing of the kind. Pouring rain, two red cards, a penalty-kick that should not have been called, heavy arguing and shoving of the referee and a penalty miss were all part of this meeting, so without spoiling all the fun, the video below is a must watch!

The Monday Meltdown - Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger

2014-10-06T15:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday's much anticipated match between Chelsea and Arsenal saw yet another incident in the long running feud between their respective manager's Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger.

The touch paper had been lit earlier in the day when Mourinho congratulated Wenger on his 18 years of service at Arsenal, before refusing to apologize for calling the Frenchman "a specialist in failure" last season.

This particular attack had followed Wenger's comments that last years Premier League title was Chelsea's to lose and that Mourinho feared failure and was therefore playing down his side's chances.

According to the Guardian, Mourinho had the following to say about his infamous remark about the Arsenal boss:

“I don’t apologize, he didn’t apologize. My feeling is not to go over it – forget it, to move forwards without thinking about what happened. He doesn’t need to apologize, so I don’t need an apology or to apologize.

“Intelligent football people don’t need that, it’s finished. Let’s go for another match with big responsibilities for both of us.”

With Sunday's encounter only twenty minutes old, Wenger lost his cool over Chelsea defender Gary Cahill's heavy foul on Alexi Sanchez and raced out of his technical area to shove Mourinho.

Wenger, who has had a fractious relationship with Mourinho since the self appointed "Special One" first joined Chelsea in 2004, has been on the receiving end of the Portuguese bosses verbal assaults several times over the years. Mourinho accused Wenger in 2005 of "having an unhealthy obsession with Chelsea" and that he was "a voyeur".

This Sunday just appeared to be a case of the Frenchman snapping after several years of provocation. It probably doesn't help that he has failed in eleven attempts to beat Mourinho's sides.

Wenger though is not blameless in this feud, as he has shot back at Mourinho on occasion, as he often does when faced with a managerial rival who he views as a threat.

The long time Arsenal's bosses aloof attitude towards other managers is often viewed as arrogance. For his part in the altercation with Mourinho yesterday, Wenger had this to say to the media:

"I don’t regret it, what is there to regret? I want to go from A to B and someone (Mourinho) confronted me before I got to B without any sign of a welcome."

The Chelsea manager said: "It becomes heated because it's a big game, big clubs, big rivals, an important match for both teams. ‘I think these conditions make a game of emotions. After that, there are two technical areas. One for me, one for him.

"He was coming into my technical area and not for the right reasons, to give some technical instructions. He was coming to push the referee for a red card, and I didn't like that. But I think Moss did a good job.

"A football pitch is a football pitch. Yes. He did well, Jonathan Moss. And Atkinson did well too. But, to be fair, I do so many wrong things in football, sometimes you lose emotion, but not this time. This time I was just in my technical area and it was not my problem. Game over, story over."

Predictably the two refused to shake hands at the end of the match and their petty squabbling will likely continue unabated.

The worry for Arsenal fans though, rather than a bit of verbal sparring between their manager and the Chelsea supremo, is another limp performance by their side in a big match and the lame excuse served up by Wenger afterwards.

"As well, at the end of the day, they have a financial power and they used it in a very efficient way when they had the chances.

"Their individual players who can make the difference made the difference -- Hazard and Costa.''

The real issue is that for the past few seasons Arsenal have had real gaps in their side and rather than address them, as Chelsea have done them by bringing in a badly needed striker in Diego Costa, Wenger has persisted with turning a blind eye to his sides shortcomings and loading up on small, technical midfielders.

Arsenal haven't had a dominant physical force in the middle of the park since Patrick Vieira left for Juventus in the summer of 2005, they also haven't had a reliable back four since shortly after that time either, but Wenger has failed to address this.

There is a fallacy in Arsenal not spending money, as they invested significantly in bringing in Mesut Ozil, Danny Welbeck and Alexis Sanchez in the past two summers, but his stubbornness in bringing in the type of players the club truly needs must be excruciating for their fans.

Is finishing fourth every year, but with the exception of last spring's FA Cup, not winning trophies enough for a side of their stature? I tend to think it isn't.

Football Comic Strips by Rudi Gundersen (Gallery)

2014-09-15T18:00:00.000-04:00

Rudi Gundersen from Norway has created a very interesting collection of cartoons/comics.

He has taken a funny take with these comic strips at stories of the past couple of weeks. If you enjoy his work follow him on Twitter at @Rudisign

Watch out, Premier League! SuperMario is ready to shake his opponents once again

Lights out for Xavi. Tribute to one of the greatest players of all time at Spain.

Unstoppable Di Maria breaks through the heart of the German defence

Fashionable Khedira to wear both red and blue instead of just choosing one color this season?

Does Arsene Wenger have big plans for Danny Welbeck in the future?

Valbuena wants to make things difficult for Spartak Moscow, like he did at Marseille in UCL. Now, playing for Dynamo Moscow.

The BFG, Per Mertesacker joins Phillipp Lahm and Miroslav Klose and retires at the National team after a long and faithful service.

Balotelli left out of game against Norway

The devil of Manchester is not happy with his all to "nice guys" so far!

Russian club Krasnodar crushing Real Sociedad

5 Interesting Manager Facts - Arsène Wenger

2014-09-13T15:00:00.000-04:00

In this first (of many) edition of 5 Manager Facts we take a look at Frenchmen Arsène Wenger. Wenger is currently the manager of Arsenal FC in the English Premier League, a club he has been with since 1996. Prior to Arsenal, Wenger coached three other clubs in Japan and France.

Fact 1 - Ironic Nickname

Before being called Voyeur by fellow EPL manager Jose Mourinho, Arsène Wenger's nickname among his football buddies in his teenage years was Petit, meaning small in French. It may seem Ironic as the Arsenal manager currently stands at six feet and three inches, but apparently Wenger was not always a tall boy and didn't have a real growth-spurt until he was about sixteen years old. After he "stretched out" the nickname faded.

Fact 2 - First Team as Player

Wenger's first professional club as a player was AS Mutzig in the (then) third tier of French football. The town is located in the very east of France and is very close to the German border. It currently has a population of just under six thousand people, and AS Mutzig currently plays in the 7th tier in France.

Wenger playing for FC Mulhouse, his second professional club as a player

Fact 3 - Huge in Japan

Between the time Wenger left AS Monaco and took over the manager's role at Arsenal, the Frenchman spent a year and a half with Japanese side Nagoya Grampus. In his short stint as Grampus' manager, the team won the Emperor's Cup (domestic cup competition) and finished runner-up in league standings. Wenger himself won the best manager of the year award.

Fact 4 - First Foreign & Longest Serving

Arsène Wenger is both the first non-British and the longest serving manager in the history of Arsenal Football Club. Wenger has to date been with the club for over one-thousand matches, almost doubling the record of the manager who had been with the club for the second most games.

Fact 5 - 勝者のエスプリ

In 1997 Arsène Wenger was the author of a book that translates to English as The Spirit of Conquest. This book was written exclusively for the Japanese market, and in it Wenger talks about Japanese football and shares his philosophies and values.

Arsenal's 5 Most Impressive Premier League Records

2014-09-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

Arsenal is one of the historic clubs in the Premier League and when you look at the record books it is easy to see why. They hold some incredible records that could indeed stand the test of time and never be broken.

In a league as competitive as the Premier League, it is impressive to look at some of the records set by Arsenal and envisions another team any time soon, breaking them. This says a lot about Arsenal and the quality and consistency that they have had over the years.

I have decided to concentrate on the five records that I personally find more impressive from the several Arsenal has set. These five may be part of Premier League history for generations to come.

Most Consecutive Away Wins – 12

Winning games in the Premier League is difficult, winning games away is even more difficult, but to win 12 in a row is nearly impossible. I say nearly impossible because Arsenal did it. Between March 3 2013 and October 26 2013, Arsenal won 12 consecutive away matches. This is an incredible achievement that perhaps goes unnoticed to those more careless minds, but all Arsenal fans should be proud of this record, it is not an easy one to achieve.

Longest Unbeaten Run – 49

This is perhaps the record held by Arsenal that I find the most amazing. From May 7 2003 to October 24 2004 they were unbeaten. In between those dates they had their incredible 2003-2004 Invincibles season, which makes this the greatest record in Premier League history. To go 49 league games without tasting defeat is the most incredible record on file, and I don’t foresee any team, now or anytime soon breaking it or even coming close. Premier League is the most competitive league in the World, and to be undefeated for 49 games is not something anybody can do.

Fewest Failures to Score in a Match in a Season – 0

During the 2001-02 season, Arsenal scored a goal in each game they played, setting a Premier League record in the process. No other team before them or since has managed to score in every single game during a season. Another record that attests to the dominance Arsenal had in the Premier League during the early 2000’s. Premier League has had some incredible teams since, putting together some incredible seasons, but nobody has managed to achieve what the Arsenal teams of the early 2000’s did.

Most Premier League Goals at one Club – 175

It is impossible to talk about Arsenal and records and not mention Thierry Henry. He holds the Premier League record for most goals scored for one single club with 175. He is an icon at Arsenal and a symbol of the Premier League, and in an era when players change clubs almost every season, a player of Henry’s quality stayed his entire Premier League career at Arsenal and setting this record in the process. For most, Thierry Henry wearing an Arsenal kit is part of Premier League history.

Most Consecutive Wins – 14

Between February 10 2002 and August 24 2002, Arsenal won 14 consecutive games, setting a Premier League record. It seems like such a small achievement, but we are not talking about any league on the planet, we are talking about the Premier League, to win 14 consecutive matches you have to be a very good team, and even then it isn’t easy, otherwise others would have done it since.

Arsenal's Best Starting XI

2014-08-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

Looking back at the last 25 years of Arsenal football, I thought it would be interesting to look at their best starting XI of this era. Many players have worn the Arsenal kit during that time, but eleven of them standout as the greatest ones to have played for Arsenal during that time frame.

Goalkeeper: David Seaman

He had over 1000 appearances for the Gunners and he dazzled the fans with incredible saves and phenomenal performances, in a word, legend. He was Arsenal’s number 1 goalkeeper for 13 straight seasons. Seaman won three Premier League titles, four FA Cups, one League Cup and one Cup Winners Cup. When picking an all-time XI he has to be the first choice for goalkeeper.

Right Back: Lee Dixon

He signed with Arsenal in 1988 from Stoke City. He played under two of the most iconic managers that Arsenal has ever seen, George Graham and Arsene Wenger. He was an integral part of the squad from the 90’s to 2002 when he retired. He won four league titles, three FA Cup’s and a UEFA Cup Winners Cup. He was a strong defender that didn’t shy away from a rough tackle and his dazzling overlap runs and long passes were also part of his trademark.

Centre Back: Sol Campbell

He is the only Arsenal player to score in a Champions league final. He joined Arsenal in 2001 on a free transfer from city rivals Tottenham. He was a wall in defense, a hard nose player that didn’t look at who he was playing against but rather at the job he had to do, and that was stopping forwards from scoring. He won two Premier League titles and three FA Cups, and was part of the “Invincibles” team of 2003/04.

Centre Back: Tony Adams

You could not have a list of XI Arsenal players and not include Tony Adams. He is “Mr. Arsenal”. He was a leader and a solid rock in defense, and a true Gunner. He was a dedicated player to the crest, and one of those few players that played for the love of the crest not the salary he was being paid. He won four league titles, three FA Cups, two League Cups and one UEFA Cup Winners Cup.

Left Back: Ashley Cole

He is without a doubt the least popular Arsenal player on this list, but his quality and his play on the field for Arsenal cannot be denied. He was a solid player when he was with Arsenal, a great defender and also very strong when attacking. During his six years at Arsenal, he won two Premier League titles and three FA Cups.

Midfield: Cesc Fabregas

He was brought to Arsenal in 2003 at the age of 16, and while Barcelona failed to see the potential in the young Spanish midfielder, Arsene Wenger knew what he was getting when he signed him. He is one of the best midfielders to have played not only for Arsenal but in the Premier League. At the age of 17 he was a key figure of Arsenal’s midfield. He only won one FA Cup during his time at Arsenal, but his incredible quality and amazing play in the midfield will not be forgotten.

Midfield: Patrick Vieira

Vieira was another shoe in when putting this list together. We could not have an Arsenal midfield without Vieira. He was an incredible midfielder, and during his time at Arsenal he was loved by the fans. His rivalry with Roy Keane was incredible and added extra flair to the matchups with Manchester United. He won three Premier League titles and four FA Cups with Arsenal, but his impact on the history of the club goes beyond the titles he won. He has left a legacy of what it means to be a Gunner.

Midfield: Freddie Ljunberg

The Swedish international was another great midfielder that applied his craft at Arsenal. He scored on his debut against Manchester United, making him a fan favorite almost immediately. He was an incredible passer, but he could also hold the ball, break a play and finish when given a chance. He was a complete midfielder that could almost play anywhere in the middle of the field, but his speed down the wings was his trademark and what made him famous. He scored 72 goals in 328 games, winning two Premier League titles and three FA Cups while at Arsenal.

Midfield: Robert Pires

I was undecided on whom to add to the last midfield position, but I had to go with Robert Pires. The Frenchman was part of the “Invincibles” and during that incredible season his partnership with Thierry Henry combined for 57 goals. He was a hard nose player and one of the best wingers of his generation to play in the EPL. While at Arsenal he won two Premier League titles and three FA Cups.

Forward: Dennis Bergkamp

The Dutchman forward was a class act on and off the field. He scored 120 goals in 423 games and with the midfield passes from Ljunberg and Pires he was doing what he was born to do. He was a very intelligent player with the ball as well as without the ball, always able to find open space to receive the passes that he so crafted converted into goals. He won three League titles and four FA Cups while at Arsenal.

Forward: Thierry Henry

He is an icon at Arsenal, and in large part for the many goals he scored while wearing the Arsenal kit. He is without a doubt the best forward that the Premier League has ever seen. His incredible runs and dribbles made him a very difficult player to stop, and his ability to score incredible goals made him a superstar and one of the most incredible players to watch. Arsene Wenger will always be connected to his success as a footballer, he came to Arsenal was a winger but the veteran French manager converted him into a forward, and the rest is history. He scored 228 goals and 92 assists in 369 games, winning the Golden Boot four times.

10 Reasons Why 2014 World Cup Has Been the Best Ever

2014-07-08T09:00:00.000-04:00

The 2014 World Cup has been incredible, here are my 10 reasons why it has been the best one ever.

Beautiful Audience

At every World Cup you always have incredible gorgeous woman in the stands, but this time in Brazil, the audience eye candy has been taken to a new level of beauty. Every game and every time a camera glances into the stands you are faced with an array of beautiful woman from all different countries showing their support for their teams. It wouldn’t be Brazil if gorgeous woman were not at a football match.

Amazing Goals

We have been treated to several incredible goals at this World Cup. Who will forget Van Persie’s header against Spain, or Tim Cahill volley against Netherlands or James Rodriguez incredible goal against Uruguay? This World Cup has had so many incredible goals that it is so hard to make a top 5 list without having to really leave some amazing ones aside. It has been an incredible tournament in regards to the beauty of some of the goals being scored.

Controversy

We all love some controversy and this World Cup has had its fair share. The Suarez bite to Chiellini, Muntari and Prince Boateng disciplinary issues, Ghana money woes to Cameroon suspicion of match fixing, this tournament has had it all. A true micro cosmos of what football has been all about in the last 5 years, from a negative perspective. In the end these incidents, while entertaining, have not been the main focus of everyone’s attention.

Everyone Wants to Join the Party

Everyone has flocked to Brazil during this World Cup, to watch the games or to take in the weather or perhaps to do some work for TV stations. That is not impressive, what has been impressive is how many of these football A listers have taken to the atmosphere of Brazil and enjoyed their surroundings. Either by playing footvolley on the beach (Arsene Wenger) or to just go for a bike ride. Even Patrick Kluivert has taken up racket ball, which goes to show you the relaxed and fun environment surrounding this tournament.

TV Coverage

The TV coverage of the tournament has been phenomenal. The angles are great, commentators are phenomenal and the overall coverage of the matches, teams and players has been superb. You feel like you are in Brazil from the comfort of your home.

Lots of Goals

Everyone dislikes a 0-0 draw, and we haven’t seen many of those. We had only 2 during the group stages and one was an incredible game between Brazil and Mexico. The games have had plenty of goals for everyone to watch and enjoy. After all, goals are the main reason that takes people to the stadiums to watch football, without them you can’t have a winner.

Penalty Kicks

Nothing says World Cup tension like a penalty shootout decision in the knock off rounds. We have had some incredible ones; the most incredible would have been Brazil vs Chile which drove the social media numbers through the roof. Twitter broke their records during that penalty decision, which shows not only the impact the game is having on social media, but how thrilling a decision of a game from the pk spot can be.

Costa Rica

What an incredible story the tiny country of Costa Rica has been. They have been able to put Concacaf on the map of world football. For such a small country what they have achieved in this tournament is memorable, and it will go down as one of the greatest stories of the 2014 World Cup.

Upsets

We have had so many upsets in this tournament. Italy, England, Portugal and Spain all eliminated at the group stages. Who would have thought of that coming into the tournament? Not me, that is for sure. The tournament has been fertile in upsets, and for the neutral football fan that likes to cheer for the underdog, nothing is better than upsets.

Incredible Games

We have had so many entertaining games. Teams coming back from behind to win or tie and push the game to extra time, extra time wins, penalty decisions that have taken fans to the brink of sanity, incredible goals, bad referee calls, amazing plays, close games between teams that in the rankings are not close at all, and the list goes on and on. The entertainment value has been off the charts. Some of the best games I have seen in a World Cup. Most world Cups have a handful of quality games that you can look back at it and replay it again, this one is littered with quality matches. Almost every match has been a memorable one.

Arsene Wenger Showing His Footvolley Skills & Much More

2014-07-02T21:30:00.000-04:00

Arsene Wenger is working in Brazil as a TV pundit, but in his spare time he his hitting the beach for some footvolley.

Arsene Wenger in Brazil working for a French TV station, but in his spare time he teamed up with Bixente Lizarazu, former World Cup winner with France, for some footvolley action on the beautiful beaches of Rio.

In the video below you can see Wenger imitating the incredible goal scored by Van Persie against Spain in this year’s World Cup, showing that he has some incredible footballing skills, for a manager.

Here are some pictures of Wenger showing all his abilities with a football in the beaches of Rio de Janeiro.

Later, he hit the waters for a well-deserved cooling down, he could have picked better swimming attire, those shorts leave nothing to the imagination.

Any Given Sunday - Football Clichés

2014-06-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

There are two expressions in world football that make me cringe. “Parking the bus” and “taking one game at a time” are two of the most used expressions by players and coaches.

Football is full of clichés and players, coaches, presidents and pretty much anyone around football has either used them or will use them at some point in time. These two for me are the ones that cause me to roll my eyes every single time I hear them.

Parking the Bus

This was a term coined by Jose Mourinho when he was referring to teams that would go into a game with only one objective in mind, defend. They would put all their lines behind the ball and play with 11 men in front of their box.

I understand Mourinho’s frustrations and even the use of the expression, what I don’t understand is the negative connotation that the expression now holds. It is almost a dirty word in world football now. If you, as a coach, are accused of “parking the bus” it is almost like you committed a capital sin and deserve to be banned from the game. This way of thinking has been embedded in the minds of media in fans alike by managers of top clubs that have a very strong personality and charisma. That to me is brainwashing of the masses by pulling at their heart strings.

I know everyone wants to see a beautiful free flowing game with both teams looking for goals and playing for the win. It isn’t always possible. When you have teams like PSG, Chelsea and Manchester City that spend million upon millions to buy the best players oil can buy, other less fortunate teams have to fight with the weapons they have. You don’t see smaller clubs like Nantes, complaining about playing a rich PSG and how unfair that is to them. If smaller team managers don’t come up with expressions like “Rich Football” all “Mercenary Attacking Formation” to justify losing to rich clubs I think it is in extremely poor taste and an act of unfair play for rich clubs to accuse smaller ones of “parking the bus”.

Is not like they are using an unfair tactic or playing with 12 players, they are within their right to use any means they see necessary to achieve their objectives. It is part of the game, defense is a huge part of the game and there is merit in playing it well. Managers like Mourinho should be graceful and accept that the defensive minded coach on the sideline next to them use what he had at his disposal to get what he wanted. It is his fault that they were unable to break their defensive wall.

If you know going into a match your opponent will be playing very defensively, than have a strategy in place to counter act that, instead of walking into a press conference and blaming the points lost on parking arrangements.

One Game at a Time

The other expression that I absolutely hate is taking “one game at a time”. Is there any other way of taking games? Unless you play a split squad matches on the same day, which in that case you could take two games at a time; there is no other way of taking it.

This is the laziest form of answering a reporter after a game that perhaps didn’t go too well. I would rather the player or manager would not say anything, instead of giving me this load of crap. Of course you are going to take one game at a time, you and everyone else in the league and in the world.

Why not come up with something more truthful like “we will work harder because today we didn’t work hard enough”? That would be to honest, and we all know honesty is something that is becoming an extinct animal in football. Instead we get this load of crap.

Why even bother with post game scrums in the tunnels if this is all you will get from the players and managers? You want to get some perspective on the team’s performance? Interview the fans after the game and get ready for an exponential growth in ratings.

For now we will just have to take it, one game at a time.

A Random Trip Around the Edge of English Football: Moyes, Mourinho and Wenger

2014-05-17T23:02:00.000-04:00

We have all been out of our depth at one time or another. I remember being talked into applying for a manager's job at a company I'd only been with for five months, with staff across Canada potentially reporting to me. During my interview with a bemused Director, she asked me about succession planning. Succession planning? I was 24 years old. I couldn't tell you what the hell I was doing ten minutes ago, I was probably daydreaming about football or hot women in the present, and I didn't have a goddamn clue what I'd be doing in ten minutes from now. If I left the house with my fly zipped up in the morning it was a frigging miracle. I asked if we could skip the succession planning question, she agreed, and we never did come back to it. I was out of my depth in that interview and the director knew it. The staff would have mutinied and had me killed if the company had given me the job.

Hence the importance of a proper selection process. It doesn't take a Certified Human Resources Professional to tell you that just giving your mate an important job because he has a similar accent to you, and you think he has paid his dues, isn't a good idea. Sir Alex Ferguson simply summoned David Moyes to his house and told him he was going to be the new Manchester United manager. Moyes appeared to be a man who couldn't believe his luck when he landed the job. He seemed to have an expression of "can you believe this shit?", etched on his face in his early press conferences. It reminded me of when the most popular girl at school dated one of my friends for a month. I'm not saying he had the worst pimply skin I've ever seen, but a half drunk Pizza Pizza driver once attempted to deliver his face. Even he couldn't explain why she started going out with him. He wasn't good looking, didn't drive and wasn't even funny. It was like she wanted to give a nice, dependable guy a chance. Predictably she broke up with him after a month in favour of some junior basketball star with a Civic.

As my friend Bramble once said, "some people just aren't meant to sit at the top table". Moyes, a good manager at Everton who put together a defensively solid team on a meagre budget and made Goodison Park a tough place to play at, was seen as a dependable choice to carry on Ferguson's legacy. But he didn't have the personality or proper experience for the job and looked painfully out of his depth. In the past when United slipped up, his predecessor would go on the offensive. He'd attack the referees, Rafa Benitez, the FA, and the waitress who put two sugars in his tea instead of one. When Moyes said, "Liverpool are coming to Old Trafford as the favourites", that was the end for him. It sounded defeatist and, as it was Liverpool he was commenting on, it illustrated quite clearly that he didn't understand Manchester United.

Moyes staggered on for a few more weeks, the results got worse and his press conferences further betrayed his unsuitability. The limp noodle home defeats to Liverpool and Manchester City were dreadful, and almost worse was his comment that City were setting standards that United should aspire to. I hope for Moyes sake that he lands another suitable job in management soon, because he's well and truly fucked if he's considering a career in motivational speaking.

So Louis Van Gaal will likely be coming in and one thing is for certain, he has an ego and status to match that of the club. In the meantime United fans world wide will cross their fingers that the club followed due process this time in selecting the Dutchman.

One thing you can count on is that Van Gaal won't take on the United job and be overawed like Moyes was, as he can draw on his experiences at clubs like Bayern Munich, Barcelona and Ajax. He's used to working with star players with delicate egos and surely won't say, "we'll try to make things difficult for Newcastle", before a home fixture. When teams fire a manager they generally go for a polar opposite character with their next appointment and Van Gaal is certainly the flip side to Moyes.

Speaking of large ego's, hasn't Jose Mourinho been a cranky fellow this season? What with slagging off other teams tactics, referees, the football association, his hapless strikers and Eden Hazard, Jose has looked a shadow of the manager he was in his first stint at Chelsea. His Chelsea side hasn't had the air of invincibility you associated with the Mourinho sides of old and have suffered a few unexpectedly bad results this season. His press conferences have also betrayed the air of someone who isn't entirely settled and happy.

I can't but wonder how Chelsea supporters feel deep down about having Jose Mourinho back when he obviously thought he was getting the Manchester United job last summer. He's like a man who has gone grudgingly gone back to his safe ex-girlfriend, after missing out on the sexy redhead because her father demanded she date a Scotsman and her Uncle Bobby warned her off of unpredictable foreigners.

If Mourinho gets the money he needs to strengthen this summer, then Chelsea will likely be pushing hard again on several fronts next season. But I can't help but feel that it will all end in tears.

One hilarious quote that Mourinho came out with this season was calling Arsene Wenger "a specialist in failure". Cruel as that taunt was, it wasn't too far off the mark. For a club the size of Arsenal to go nine years between trophies is staggering. A lot of commentators today were stating how happy they were for Wenger, but I'm not sure that I agree with them. Wenger is an incredibly stubborn man who won't stray from his vision and I normally hate people like that, as even when they're wrong you can't make them see sense. Just because he won the FA Cup today it shouldn't obscure the fact that his side went 0-35 in the major competitions they've contested since 2005.

I am happy for my friends who support Arsenal as they are a decent enough bunch and I'd actually started to feel sorry for them, which is not a good thing for anyone. It's like seeing the guy who used to be the popular Quarter Back in high school hanging around the bus station, drinking from a paper bag, smelling like mushrooms and trying to get people to buy into his pyramid scheme. You laugh at him initially, and feel a little better about yourself, but then when you see how bad his life truly is you start to feel like a bit of an asshole for having laughed. I'd gotten to that point with Arsenal. It was so long ago that they actually won things that their annual early winter implosions weren't funny any more, they were sad.

So well done to Arsenal, cheer up Jose, and let's hope Fergie isn't allowed to make hiring decisions ever again.